Filed under: Uncategorized
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.“
so awake yet so needing sleep!
One of the most beautiful songs ever written was sung to me tonight…
Dylan – “To Ramona”
Ramona, come closer,
Shut softly your watery eyes.
The pangs of your sadness
Shall pass as your senses will rise.
The flowers of the city
Though breathlike, get deathlike at times.
And there’s no use in tryin’
T’ deal with the dyin’,
Though I cannot explain that in lines.
Your cracked country lips,
I still wish to kiss,
As to be under the strength of your skin.
Your magnetic movements
Still capture the minutes I’m in.
But it grieves my heart, love,
To see you tryin’ to be a part of
A world that just don’t exist.
It’s all just a dream, babe,
A vacuum, a scheme, babe,
That sucks you into feelin’ like this.
I can see that your head
Has been twisted and fed
By worthless foam from the mouth.
I can tell you are torn
Between stayin’ and returnin’
On back to the South.
You’ve been fooled into thinking
That the finishin’ end is at hand.
Yet there’s no one to beat you,
No one t’ defeat you,
‘Cept the thoughts of yourself feeling bad.
I’ve heard you say many times
That you’re better ‘n no one
And no one is better ‘n you.
If you really believe that,
You know you got
Nothing to win and nothing to lose.
From fixtures and forces and friends,
Your sorrow does stem,
That hype you and type you,
Making you feel
That you must be exactly like them.
I’d forever talk to you,
But soon my words,
They would turn into a meaningless ring.
For deep in my heart
I know there is no help I can bring.
Everything passes,
Everything changes,
Just do what you think you should do.
And someday maybe,
Who knows, baby,
I’ll come and be cryin’ to you.
Filed under: Uncategorized
James 1:2-8
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
I didnt really know where to start today in my readings… and for some reason the book of James just popped into my head. This idea of the clashing of trials and our strong hope in God is where God really combines His seemingly two opposite characteristics (both Lion and Lamb) to show that we will have trials and tests in this relationship with Him, but also within that we must know that our hope is also in the Comforter and the Giver of all. Also something interesting in the last few verses about our then reaction to the trials in our lives… our free will and part in this relationship. By asking and fully believing that God will “give generously to all without finding fault”… knowing this creates a sense in us of keeping that perseverance to seek Him during those trials.
We all have trials, it is just a part of this relationship. But we can have confidence within these to know that the Jesus who came and died for us is wanting us to live life with Him.
Lately, my struggles have been with faithfulness and patience in the Lord. I am constantly learning to wait upon Him… but it is often hard when He plants dreams in me that I have to learn to wait on His timing for to be fulfilled. It’s like getting a taste of something… but having to grow that desire within you rather than having it fulfilled immediately.
I was also brought back to reality last night by a friend to “appreciate where you are at” because God is working in me now in the places He has called me to be. That although these passions are for a purpose… I can’t be less passionate for the people and areas that I am called to now… and that I must not be discouraged because Satan likes to make you feel like you aren’t getting anywhere by waiting. his words are “Hurry! Just do things yourself because God is too busy right now!” Pah. his tricks are old and I rebuke them.
God has been so faithful even though I have been so antsy…
Sometimes I do feel like this is just an “inbetween time”… a waiting period.
Filed under: Uncategorized
my heart. (see above)
currently trying my hardest to write a paper on poverty and minority families and creating an intervention program to help these at risk families. RAR. to say the least, its becoming really frustrating. it just boggles my mind how pompous I’m sounding in my paper… but i honestly cant help it because it has to be FOUR pages. “to be successful in the real world you have to learn to be concise” (so says my prof). but this conciseness makes me feel like im sacrificing what i wish i could say instead… and sounding like i really agree with myself when i don’t…
it really breaks my heart though to hear these stats over and over again… “being a minority, single parent families, low levels of education, changing family structure… lead(s) to increased risk of poverty” we know we know we know why people end up in poverty… we have know forever. why isnt this changing? are we digging ourselves into a hole trying to set up these prevention programs that only label the populace as “victims who need help”? have we put them in a position where they cannot break through the poverty cycle (it really is one) and just stay there because our programs to help these people “in need” are just creating jobs for ourselves? are those people thinking we are stupid for trying to change them because they are fine where they are? maybe?
or are there people who want help and they cant get it because there are no programs in their neighborhood to educate them and get them on the track to a better life that they wish they could understand because they have only read about them in books? are there children who wish they could do their homework but cant concentrate because the TV is too loud and they live in a one room apartment and there is no safe place for them to study? are there people starving and wishing that there was a soup kitchen… just for today so that they can sit down to dinner with their family? maybe?
maybe only Jesus. maybe only someone, and not so many somethings. we try to set up programs that seem like what people need. but i think people need to know they have a Savior. they have someone who cares and who wants them to live out the Gospel and love their families and their neighbors. poop on programs and lack of programs right now. i want the world to know its redeemable quality thought Christ. and know things about His love, and His grace and His faithfulness to us because we are His servants to the world….because every sin on Him was laid so that we may LIVE.
Jesus we need You. in our overeducated minds that convince us we dont need you there we need You… in our apartments and dorms we need You… in our churches we need You… at the Food Bank we need You… in the suburbs we need You… in the inner city we need You…
