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Regarding recent situations, I’m really having to sink into grace and love and not let my heart grow bitter towards guys.
Blegh. I feel sick. I feel deceived and sad and guilty. And I hate how sneaky and deceptive Satan is, prowling like a lion. I want to let Jesus in fully, but I’m having a hard time forgiving. I think it shows our true sinful nature when we are set in circumstances that lead us to react first with animalistic tendencies, where going back to our old self is our primary vice. I need to let Jesus be what He is, and accept that I am weak.
Someday I want to breathe freely of this situation, but for now it is to be quiet voices and secrets kept.
Current thought: men and women can’t be “just friends”
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Recently, I’ve also realized how much our loneliness increases our need for God. Not that we necessarily always press into Him when those lonely times are there, but we can see our tendencies to try to fill up that solitary empty hole with things that echo pieces of who God is.
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Currently reading: The Kingdom of God is Within You – Tolstoy (back at it!)
East of Eden – Steinbeck
Current fav album/songs:
“Hard Way To Fall” and “The End”- Ryan Adams on Jacksonville City Nights
