Electricbones’s Weblog

James 1:2-8

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

I didnt really know where to start today in my readings… and for some reason the book of James just popped into my head. This idea of the clashing of trials and our strong hope in God is where God really combines His seemingly two opposite characteristics (both Lion and Lamb) to show that we will have trials and tests in this relationship with Him, but also within that we must know that our hope is also in the Comforter and the Giver of all. Also something interesting in the last few verses about our then reaction to the trials in our lives… our free will and part in this relationship. By asking and fully believing that God will “give generously to all without finding fault”… knowing this creates a sense in us of keeping that perseverance to seek Him during those trials.

We all have trials, it is just a part of this relationship. But we can have confidence within these to know that the Jesus who came and died for us is wanting us to live life with Him.

Lately, my struggles have been with faithfulness and patience in the Lord. I am constantly learning to wait upon Him… but it is often hard when He plants dreams in me that I have to learn to wait on His timing for to be fulfilled. It’s like getting a taste of something… but having to grow that desire within you rather than having it fulfilled immediately.

I was also brought back to reality last night by a friend to “appreciate where you are at” because God is working in me now in the places He has called me to be. That although these passions are for a purpose… I can’t be less passionate for the people and areas that I am called to now… and that I must not be discouraged because Satan likes to make you feel like you aren’t getting anywhere by waiting. his words are “Hurry! Just do things yourself because God is too busy right now!” Pah. his tricks are old and I rebuke them.

God has been so faithful even though I have been so antsy…

Sometimes I do feel like this is just an “inbetween time”… a waiting period.

my heart. (see above)

currently trying my hardest to write a paper on poverty and minority families and creating an intervention program to help these at risk families. RAR. to say the least, its becoming really frustrating. it just boggles my mind how pompous I’m sounding in my paper… but i honestly cant help it because it has to be FOUR pages. “to be successful in the real world you have to learn to be concise” (so says my prof). but this conciseness makes me feel like im sacrificing what i wish i could say instead… and sounding like i really agree with myself when i don’t…

it really breaks my heart though to hear these stats over and over again… “being a minority, single parent families, low levels of education, changing family structure… lead(s) to increased risk of poverty” we know we know we know why people end up in poverty… we have know forever. why isnt this changing? are we digging ourselves into a hole trying to set up these prevention programs that only label the populace as “victims who need help”? have we put them in a position where they cannot break through the poverty cycle (it really is one) and just stay there because our programs to help these people “in need” are just creating jobs for ourselves? are those people thinking we are stupid for trying to change them because they are fine where they are? maybe?

or are there people who want help and they cant get it because there are no programs in their neighborhood to educate them and get them on the track to a better life that they wish they could understand because they have only read about them in books? are there children who wish they could do their homework but cant concentrate because the TV is too loud and they live in a one room apartment and there is no safe place for them to study? are there people starving and wishing that there was a soup kitchen… just for today so that they can sit down to dinner with their family? maybe?

maybe only Jesus. maybe only someone, and not so many somethings. we try to set up programs that seem like what people need. but i think people need to know they have a Savior. they have someone who cares and who wants them to live out the Gospel and love their families and their neighbors. poop on programs and lack of programs right now. i want the world to know its redeemable quality thought Christ. and know things about His love, and His grace and His faithfulness to us because we are His servants to the world….because every sin on Him was laid so that we may LIVE.

Jesus we need You. in our overeducated minds that convince us we dont need you there we need You… in our apartments and dorms we need You… in our churches we need You… at the Food Bank we need You… in the suburbs we need You… in the inner city we need You…

woot!

okay… so im not one to go to a hair salon or have a perfect hair cut so i just do it myself. i chop at it when im bored and thin it out and fix things… but i think it has come to a point where i just am practically making this stuff on top of my head what i was most adament against making it, almost an idol really. funny how that happens.

so tomorrow im off to get it properly fixed (yes! by a stylist!) and chopped so that i will not fuss over it for a while. i dont think i have spent money on a hair cut in almost three years.

i do wonder what other things we fight so hard against conforming to that begin to define us (trying so hard NOT to wear what everyone else does… trying so hard to be different)… rather than letting what we are striving for define us.

Thinking of this…these verses popped into my head from 1 Peter…

3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.

This is such a beautiful example (i think it can also really speak to men too) about where we have to be putting our hope. We just have to. Jesus is really calling us to this idea of surrender of ourselves (constant and daily destruction and reconstruction of what we are living for) to a life that He is calling us to.

———-

in other randomness… while watching American Gangster over break there was a pretty raunchy sex scene. My friend Andrew (who I lovingly call “Dad” and who now has even more recognition to the name because of this) put his hands over my eyes during it and made me plug my ears… it mostly made me giggle… but honestly, I really respected him for doing that. It was really selfless and he had total respect for upholding my purity, especially when oftentimes we don’t even seem to think about what we let into our eyes and ears. Sometimes for women I think we feel like a guy who wants to only protect and respect us (heh no rhyme intended) we twist his intentions around to make him seem like someone who wants us to remain ignorant. So so untrue, ladies.

my vote for pres? a family man honestly… just skimming to my first entry i remembered that article on child abuse and family structure that i had read and was “reenlightened”, to an extent, of the importance of family structure (a community, a support system, a place to learn…). I think we can say that we all long for this “family” wherever we are… a place that we can come crawling back to, sit comfortably in, hold hands with, and also be told to set the table and do chores (yea, i think discipline is a longing we have). Your family knows you best, and still loves you. That redemptive quality is what I wish we would see more… it kills me to see parents brutally strip their children of faith in themselves simply by calling them “stupid” for not knowing how to tie their shoes. I just want to see love in families… and maybe thats where our country’s leaders should be hoping for change… dunno

I want to pray for families more. No man is an island…

Deuteronomy 4:10 Remember the day you stood before the LORD ... when he
said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they
may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them
to their children." 

How much has your family influenced you… or for that matter maybe how have you not let them influence you (for better or for worse)?

Lordy! I am such an HDFS major… apology, kinda!

Another note… Monica’s birthday was on Saturday beautiful time spent with beautiful encouraging chicas!

here is the wonderful one herself

Kase and the menu…

Me and Linds being sillies

I realized the other night how much violence makes me feel physically sick… violence stemming from miscommunication, pride, rash decisions, greed… things that might have been worked out without a gun in hand to shoot if only people took their time…

Felt these things while watching the movie “American Gangster” the other night. It’s based on the life of Frank Lucas who imported heroine straight from Vietnam into Harlem… just an interestingly gritty portrayal of a man profiting for his family and friends from a highly demanded need (selling better drugs for less money). The movie was so realistic, especially how the physical (drugs) become the force to fight against. Because so many people with normal human desires and frustrations became entangled in the mess, it was hard to pinpoint who was at fault. Really a thought provoking film… especially for me as someone who wants to understand what, for example, the inward emotions are that provoke drug use and how that cycle continues into addiction, and into the culture of drugs, etc., etc.